[Lyrics] GHOSTS: EVERYTHING WAS SWELL UNTIL SOMEONE SPLIT THE DARK MOON THEN SOMETHING STRANGE BROUGHT ON A CHANGE... E. GADD: E. GADD TO LUIGI! AM I COMIN’ IN CLEAR, DO YOU READ ME? BAD ****’S HEATIN’ UP LIKE FONDUE GONNA BEAM YOU TO MY CRIB LIKE TRON DO THESE GHOSTS SEEM UNASSAILABLE DON’T WORRY THEY’RE STILL INHALABLE KINDA WANTED SOMEBODY LESS FAILABLE BUT YOUR BRO MARIO’S UNAVAILABLE GHOSTS: STEP INTO THE DARK! FIVE NEW SPOOKY MANSIONS! E. GADD: GOTTA STOP DAT KING BOO, ‘CAUSE HE BROKE UP THE WHOLE DARK MOON DUDE! NOW HE’S BRINGING THAT NEW BOO VOO DOO EVERYBODY’S IN DEEP DEEP DOO DOO THE GHOSTS IN THE VALLEY ARE SUPER-PEEVED DO YOU HAVE TO WIPE YOUR NOSE RIGHT ON YOUR SLEEVE? GHOSTS: COME BE OUR SPECIAL GUEST IN ONE MORE SPOOKY QUEST E. GADD: I NEED SOMEONE WHO SUCKS! GHOSTS: AND YOU SUCK THE BEST! E GADD: THE BEST! YOUR SUCKING BEATS THE REST! GET YOUR FACE OUTTA THAT TOILET BOWL YOU GOTTA SAVE A LITTLE CLINGY-*** TOAD THAT AIN’T CONFETTI COMIN’ OUT YOUR HOSE JUST SKIN CELLS, MOLD, OLD BOOGERS AND GHOSTS ADD MAGIC TO A SPOOKY HALL SHINE THE RAINBOW LIGHT OVER ON THE WALL AND THAT’S LIFE, ‘CAUSE AFTER ALL, SOMETIMES YA JUST GOTTA SUCK SOME BALLS GHOSTS: STEP INTO THE DARK! 34 NEW MISSIONS! E. GADD: YOU REALLY GOTTA BE OCD LIKE THE WORST GUEST AT AN AIRBNB GET GOLD, GET CASH, GET BLINGS THEN PAY ME TO UPGRADE MY OWN THINGS A GOLD BONE? THAT’S AN EXTRA LIFE YA BETTER DIG FOR GOLD LIKE DONALD TRUMP’S WIFE LOOK AT YOU BRINGIN THAT BAD*** JIVE BURNING A HARMLESS ARACHNID ALIVE WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE INSIDE OF YOUR HEAD? THIS PLANT HAS FEELINGS BUT YOU’RE LIKE LUIGI: DEAD E. GADD: USED TO BE YOU WERE THE GENTLER BRO SMARTER AND NICER THAN MARIO GIVE YOU A VACUUM AND BOOM BANG POW! LUIGI: YOU’RE THE MONSTER NOW. GHOSTS: COME IN FOR GHOSTLY SCARES, SPEND HALF THE GAME ON STAIRS SAVE MARIO AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME HE CARES HE CARES FOR ONCE HE REALLY CARES
