tw for like. panic attacks. pitcherpour isn't doing too well /... I thought I hated someone once. I did, didn't I? oh stars, I didn't. I spent uncountable seasons waiting for the death of someone I convinced myself I hated. maybe I hated her once. that must be it. I would not be so foolish to waste my afterlife on something that had no value./ ❝ y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶.❞ I used to retreat to my mind I stopped. I stopped a long, long time ago. my mind is covered in me. it reeks of me. it is a dark and winding road covered in nothing but the corpses of my past selves. and why would I want to go somewhere that reminds me of the creature I hate most? that's right. i wouldn't. ❝ m̶r̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶g̶h̶o̶s̶t̶s̶?❞ maplestar, i'm sorry i'm sorry I told him I hated you i'm sorry I hated you i'm sorry I told myself I hated you i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry ❝ c̶a̶n̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶?❞ remind me, remind me, remind me, why I kept breathing? why I forced myself to be alive for longer than you? I lived not a single second that I breathed. you? you lived. you lived you loved you took every breath I took breaths that I did not deserve and I tossed them aside. ... am I jealous? ❝ i̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶d̶u̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶u̶n̶c̶o̶m̶f̶o̶r̶t̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶i̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶.❞ I am a flower gilded in pyrite there is something beautiful about rot. it allows new life to take hold I did not allow myself to rot I did not allow myself new life I did not I did not I did not ❝ i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶l̶a̶t̶e̶.❞ no, no, no! you're wrong! it must be! it must be far too late to be like her! it must be, it must be, it must be! if I could've changed, but didn't, the blame is mine to bear! if there were no alternatives, I cannot be at fault for what I have become. ❝ j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶,̶ ̶j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶❞ i'm jealous there, I said it. are you satisfied? j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶,̶ ̶j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶ j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶,̶ ̶j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶ j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶,̶ ̶j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶ no, I mean it, I mean it, I mean it! I'll do anything! I'll do anything to get out of this cage! I'll do anything to get out of here! ❝e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶e̶s̶c̶a̶p̶e̶?̶❞
no I'm not projecting what are you talking about. inspired by the music I was listening to at the moment I forgot which song it was though shoutout to maplestar best gens cat ever I love you maplestar
