i heard something today. while i was resting after a particular hard day, just about ready to lose it, the sunshine was blinding. i heard her voice. i think her name was carmen. she made all these beautiful promises, but something felt off. i just blocked her voice out. i didn't answer. she went away after about a minute. i'm scared. i don't think i could resist her a second time. yet, i don't know whether to be scared or impatient. part of me wishes she'd come back.
