i've been in relationships before. i'm in one now. at first, i had a crush on my partner, but we were just friends. around two months ago is when we started dating. but for some reason, being with them feels disgusting. for many reasons, actually. the most obvious one is they sa'd me at our first sleepover together. but that's not the point. i always want people to want to talk to me, to need me, to crave me. but every time they do, i want it gone. i don't want to respond, i dont want to share their feelings. i hate it. every time i like someone, as soon as they like me back, i lose feelings. i know that's not love. i've never felt love towards anyone. any living human, at least. no one has shown real love towards me either, because if they did, i wouldn't feel alienated and grossed out. if that truly is love, why does everyone want to feel that way? What is wrong with me?
