Sitting in her nest on her first night as an apprentice, Evepaw stares out of the apprentices den and at the stars that littered the brilliant dark sky. She had always asked a simple question... why was she here? And the answer would never come to her, evading the fawn she-cat like prey hides from a predator. She doesn't know what to do, how to carry herself, how to even exist. She feels guilt about her own existence, and its something someone so young should never feel. And Rosebriar... her papa... he loved her dearly but he sometimes showed it in strange ways. She felt a sense of anxiety around him, like all it would take is one mistake before he will leave her behind in favor if his other kits... her siblings... she wasn't sure if they knew this reality themselves. Mistakes always seemed to lead her into bad situations. Other cats messing up and leaving her to fight for her own survival... if she made mistakes, would she be doomed to disappear? Or perhaps, would she be left behind herself? The questions were keeping her up tonight... How should she continue... how *could* she continue... what was the safest way to live...? ... to live without flaws. The realization dawned on her very suddenly, like a sudden warmth making its way through her body. If she stayed in line, did as was needed, stayed useful without straying away from what was expected.. if she became perfect... would she remain needed? Would she become someone you can't even abandon? She suddenly believes that yes, this is factual... if she becomes what everyone wants her to be, is kind and helpful and the ideal warrior... perhaps she can remain in WindClan as a valued member. Nobody would want to discard her if she became irreplaceable. So she makes a promise to the stars tonight. /Mama, I promise... I'll be perfect./
