why can't i think properly? ~ When it was atleast 2024, i got s'ad. Some of you guys know some of you guys don't. It made me sick and couldn't even speak properly. But during that i had a friend, let's call her Z. Z was a kind friend and helped me with hard times, sounds like she's friendly right? Nope. Not at all. She was FAKING it, calling me slurs and misgendering me. But I was a forgiving person and decided to forgive her EVERY. TIME. 2026. The worst year I ever had. My family was reported as "abuse" they hit me but they just want me safe and I don't know why. And guess who it was? Z. She manupliated me to report them and I feel really guilty. Why can't I snap out of it? I was stuck in my sister's friend's house for weeks. I hate myself and I was starting to have allodoxaphobia. I became more senstive and I couldn't even ask for a damn fork. A freaking fork.. this saturday I was crying sm in my korean church bcuz i was scared that they'll judge me and I would just stay at my home trying to scratch myself. (like scratching myself and i bleed, its common for me). am i ok? probably not.
:,)
