peace offering

Instructions

for inkspot: warning: this is a little venty first of all, I am so so so sorry for how I handled the whole plagiarism situation. the truth is, it was very attention-seeking of me. I wanted you to think I was having some kind of mental break (which in turn was a little insane of me) and feel really bad about potentially copying my character and this was so so incredibly immature of me. I was 15 years old at the time and should have known better. I saw what I thought was my precious precious character being stolen by someone i’d considered a friend. the truth is, I was jealous of you. you had such a larger following than me when I felt I was the one with the better art, the better characters and the better stories, yet you were so much more popular than me. but really, its not your art or your characters that make you popular, its the way you act. you’re constantly engaging people with cool thumbnails, fanart of popular fandoms and a positive attitute. plus you try harder than I do to engage people. and all this made me really really bitter because all I wanted was for people to see these art pieces i’d spent days working on and character’s i’d spent years on. and yeah, I’m still bitter. I’m a very very bitter person. I do so so much and yet people still don’t appreciate it. I’d work for literal days on single art pieces that didn’t even have backgrounds just for them to get absolute zero attention. and meanwhile here you were, completely positive about everything just so so happy not a care in the world and getting 100 views on every single project. I’ve worked 6 long and hard years on scratch just for barely any kind of following. but just this situation isn’t the whole thing. it was the aftermath. before i blew up on you, I’d have considered us friends. I felt we were sort of close or at least closer than I was with other people. I’d just lost a good friend to leaving scratch and you were the only person I really had. you actually engaged with my projects and made me feel appreciated. and the even more selfish part about it is the following you brought with you. whenever you liked or favorited one of my projects, i’d get a big boost in views. and after I fudged up and lost it and you stopped following me, I lost that boost. and I guess now every time I comment on one of your projects, seeking interaction I don’t really get much back, which I don’t blame you for, truly. I’d hold a grudge against me too. you’re simply so much more positive than me, sometimes it seems like you barely even notice how many people you have caring about you. and this makes me really so incredibly jealous. I want to have so many followers that I get 20+ comments on every project and barely notice. problem is, I don’t apply myself. I don’t try to engage the community, I don’t try to keep my mental issues out of the way of my content, instead I just completely expect for people to care every time I post. thing is, scratch is basically half of my life. all the art I make, i make it for scratch. scratch is the only place I have to share things that happen to me. I have no friends, I have no real way to share anything outside of scratch. so yeah, I miss your companionship a crap ton but I also really miss feeling like people cared about me. I’m very selfish in that way and I acknowledge that. all this to say, I don’t care if you want to forget about me. I get that what i’ve just told you is enough to make you loathe me. I don’t care if you just want to take the fanart and forget I ever existed. all I care is that you’ve heard what I have to say and you know just how terrible I feel. so if you actually did make it to the end, thank you so so much, that’s all I care about, just knowing that you’ve actually read this. and I’m sorry for venting without asking beforehand I know that’s generally frowned upon I just really needed you to know the whole story. again thank you so much, and truly, thank you for being my friend, even if it was only for a little while. I don’t blame you for a single thing.