My life is falling apart…

Instructions

My life is falling apart…… I recommend you read the whole thing -I almost threw up today. If you don’t know, I have a condition called ARFID, which stands for Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. Basically, it is an eating disorder, where people with it don't grow as much as others because we hate/dont eat a lot of foods. Most of the foods I dislike I have never had. I judge foods based off smell, texture, and appearance. and For me, I hate a lot of foods everyone loves (pasta/noodles, almost all vegetables/fruits, wet foods, curry, rice, sushi, jam, sauces, tacos, beans, cheese, AND MANY MANY OTHERS!) We won’t go near these foods, let alone eat/touch them. It’s basically a life/death situation. Some people with ARFID even throw up when seeing these foods. I have never thrown up, but I gag so much I almost do. Anyways, lunch is always really hard for me. Usually me and my friends sit at a circle table with lots of space between me and other people’s food, but this time we all sat at a rectangle table. I always bring my own lunch, but the lunch for people that buy today was a combination of beans, pasta, and this weird brown slop thing. To my friends, it was all really good, but when they sat down next to me, I gagged. It was absolutely disgusting. I couldn’t stop gagging. It was so bad, that I couldn’t even look at my own food without gagging even more. My friend asked me why I don’t like pasta, and that it was kind of rude to be gagging at their lunch. I couldn’t even talk, it was so bad. I had to run to the bathroom, but I didn’t throw up. I couldn’t stop thinking about it during the day, and that made me gag every twenty minutes. I really don’t know what to do, it was so bad. Stuff like this happens every day, and it’s getting harder and harder to hold it in. - - My best friend Finch (@ScribblePawz ) is in a really bad state right now, and I don’t know what to do. I wish I could be there for them, but I really feel like I’m failing as a friend. Everyone is so comforting but I’m just stuck here, trying to think of what to say. I have major art block rn, so I can’t even draw anything. I feel like leaving. The scratch community is already falling apart day by day, and there’s really nothing we can do. Mostly everyone on here is struggling with something, and we all come here to get a break from the real world, but with all the people attempting, it just doesn’t feel like an escape anymore. I would never think about committing zu1c1d3 but I don’t know how to be there for people that have tried. I really don’t.- -I’m struggling in the real world, and on here aswell. I seriously don’t know what to do.-