hihihiii! i've been absent for a long while again, sorry about that T^T i've been struggling pretty badly with mental health stuff. actually, that's been the case for longer than i've even been on scratch, so i hope that explains why i'll be active for a day then disappear for months aaaaa anyway! here's something i've been working on over the past few days while motivation sticks i'm posting this preview *in case* i dont actually end up finishing the project, but i hope i'll be able to :3
~update if you want~ I turned 20 woah I did a whole semester of college ^^ I grew a little taller and stopped cutting my hair >this is gonna be a much heavier, sadder update. so here's your warning, I dont mind if you stop reading aaaaa I'm not super sure what to say, as not much has changed. I'm still struggling with major depression; if anything, I'm at the lowest point I've been in my whole life. I have a passion for art that hasn't gone away. Sometimes I can't bring myself to draw at all, even when I want to. Even when I sit down to force an idea onto paper, I kinda just dissociate until any spark of motivation is gone, then I lie back down. I've picked up a whole bunch of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and even knowing how bad they are, I struggle so bad to stop. I'm back at that point where I'm just numb. I try to appear as joyful as I can, but the moments I take to respond to comments are small breaks from self-isolation. If anyone remembers my project where I drew a self-portrait of sorts, my hair was well-kept and fluffy 2 years ago. Now it's just long and completely uncared for. I lost a dangerous amount of weight, and I've become messy and unorganized. My short-term memory has dwindled so much that I'll forget what I'm saying mid-sentence. There are also a lot of times when, if I do recall something, I'll be completely off about the time it happened. For example, I'll confuse something that happened yesterday for having happened last week. Or even something that happened 3 days ago, I won't be able to tell if it was today. Overall, I'm just in a really hard place; my apologies for the sudden vent. I hope you're all doing well. Have a great day :>
