tust c-toons in a tank top. some recent thoughts: I'm no longer going to judge people with extremely obvious crushes in media. this week, every day, I have been crunsh jumpscared without fail. Normal day: I have my first period classes in the same place (ish) on both A and B days, and I walk in the same direction no matter what day it is. she's always going the opposite direction as me, and we say hi in the hallway. is that normal? I don't know! I'm like an amity: totally in love, completely unable to discern is she loves me back. Monday: shes not there in the hallway. I shrug. shes not always there, so it's a normal day- NOPE! in math class, she's doing something with her two friends that has them walking through the hallways in the middle of class with a trash can. my desk is in veiw from the classroom door, which is always open. i'm working on homework, and she yells "hey (my name)" and waves. I wave back. she goes out of sight for a second. she comes back into line of sight, waves again and smiles. I wave back again, still smiling. she and her friends giggle off into the distance. Tuesday: she's not there in the morning again. after school, I'm making my way to my usual exit, when she comes up from behind me and says "hey (my name)!" I am understandably jumpscared, but I say "hey (her name)" back and she and her friends pass me in the hall. when I get to the water bottle refiller, I stop and refill my water bottle. no i'm not trying to avoid embarrassing myself by walking past her again and possibly saying something stupid. why would you say that? then I do eventually have to go past her, but she doesn't see me. Today: she is there in the morning. however, shes also in my path to the lunchroom. same akward greeting exchanged. every time I see her, my heart gives a flutter (people who've never felt it, it's *WEIRD*) and my face feels like its a little weird. (if I could press f5 I think i'd see a blush I couldn't have seen before!) oh, and after every interaction, i'm grinning like the freaking joker. only not evil and more goofyish. I either need to confess and get rejected or surgically remove my emotions because this is not productive. i'm thinking about her! every night! PAST MIDNIGHT!
the say that when you can't sleep, it's because someone's thinking about you. well, whoever's thinking about me, please stop. and i'm so sorry to (crush) for thinking about you so late at night.