UPDATE: hey guys, me and d talked it out with some1, and we seemed to clear the air. d just needs some space for a day or two, which i get. today was like getting hit by a bus. for me and d. i feel a lot better now, and when i get home, me and my parents r gonna talk abt it cause the person i talked to had to call my parents due to self-harm reasons. which i also get, my parents need to know what's going in my life. i just hope i get to vent to them, we cry and hug it out, and d and me end up being friends in the long run </33 love you all, and tysm for all of your kind messages, every one of them made me feel at least a lil better. <333 a lot of tears were shed today as well, but again, i feel so much better now, so thanks to all of u, u guys made me partly better :)) UPDATE 2: me and d r kinda good now, again, she just needs some space. i talked abt it with my parents, and they seemed sympathetic. my dad even cried, and he basically never crys. me and my mum hugged it out, and when my dad got home, we hugged to, he got me one of my fav chocolates, and my parents also had a rlly rough day. so it feels good to start a new one. pls read until the end, cause i want to vent what going on my life rn, cause i think that'll make it better. <3 there is a lil drawing thing in the proj to, just press space. okay, where do i start? oh, the tip of the iceberg. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... my best friend (d) is giving me attitude, she seems happier around her other friends, she won't forgive my apology (i backtalked her, i instantly regret it), no ppl at my school cares abt me (including the teachers), i have depression (at its worst), it feels like my parents don't , know i have depression (even tho i told them abt a week ago) and i don't feel like myself. so why not just commit it? that seems like the better option. no, the BEST option. oh, and i also have assignments and tests coming up/that r due and it's a lot of pressure. however, some of my friends comforted me, make me feel a lil better, until d make me feel even worse, even more guilty, and now i feel like doing it right in front of her, my friends, my family, just to let me see how i feel. she's also in this situation to, but she rlly good at hiding her emotions, so it doesn't seem like she's upset. i wish i could comfort my whole universe, but she makes me feel even worse... i don't know what to do guys..... it just feels like if i commit it, she'll feel better, and i no longer have to suffer in front of her eyes. my hass teacher also confronted me abt me crying during class, and she said how she's always here for me, but what made my heart melt, is "i care abt u." this was during like the first min of recess cause she held me back and talked to me abt it. and after all that... there is more than 1 reason to live. <3
