I don't want to be a "big kid" anymore I don't like this why is it like this my "mom" hates me she F*)@%*)@ING hates me she's so genuinely awful she doesn't love me only pretends to only thinks she does only loves this fake visage of me she's crafted in her head hate hate words can't describe how much I hate you, "mother". why did you bring me into this hell why did it have to be this way why did it have to be me i'm so sick of everything even myself i'm sorry I know you're worried especially you, blonde. you worry too much, you know that? I tell you that too much, haha. but it's getting harder and harder to just keep standing there and taking it hell, this very well might be the last you hear from me probably not, but if so you know exactly why don't report this it won't do anything I make these things sound way worse than they probably are, huh... haha... just help do I need it, though ? or do I crave that pity that sorrow that I know I know what I need to do I should pack my bags and leave in the middle of a nice night so if I just vanish one day it's either this or I love you all so so sososososososososososososo much ... am I crying? maybe I'll just get over it like I always do. like I always do when I shouldn't. like I always get over it too fast. tomorrow is another day, after all... but it's all the same. and it'll always be the same until I die. day in and day out and day in of hate hate hate and hate if only I could just fly away into a new time if only I could just pull myself out of humanity
I'm feeling a lot better now
