just what life has felt like lately. socially awkward, anxious 24/7, probably clinically depressed, every single thing I do feels like a mistake, crying over nothing every day, constantly feeling cold, huge eyebags, gaining weight, never loosing more than 4 pounds, loosing too much hair, feels like everybody is watching me to see my mistakes and then they laugh behind my back. if they whisper, it's automatically registered as something bad in my head. feels like the world is slowly losing color, like i'm slowly going insane. "cats don't tell you what's wrong until it's too late." so yeah. it's probably too late to regain sanity, nor any type of mental or physical health. haha. oh yeah. and I go to bed at 2:00am almost every night because of my insomnia. yayyyyyy. and my cat ran away. I have had him for years. he was my emotional support. I h@te my life. and I can't tell anyone about the depths of my stress because then i'll have to go to therapy. and I don't want to talk to random people I don't know why I feel like the world is actively crumbling beneath my feet. this is the painful reality of life. you do not want this to happen to you. don't let yourself fall as far as I did. grab the cliff's edge. don't fall all the way down. i'm about halfway to total isolation, and there's no more branches to grab onto. this is the only way I can vent.
warning: disturbing photos ig? idk anymore. edit: putting this back up because I got more to get across yayyy. new stuff down here edit: me and my bestie are friends again so yay :3 l v sooo I had an argument with my friend......and it's all my fault, i was dumb and I was jealous, and I'm just always the problem. I'm just an object in the background, a minor prop. And then I get backlash for trying to vent. I messed everything up, and by the end of the week, I might not even have any friends left. and I'm single again, because I was disgustingly clingy. my own words by the way. I know I am clingy. it's because I have separation issues nobody cares about. why am I like this? I try so hard to be better and then I end up making everything worse. Lost my one and only best friend I've had for years, my old crush h@tes me probably bc he just avoids me now, my social life is falling apart, I'm doing terribly in social studies, I had to go to a small group math class because I'm dumb and can't do division or multiply big numbers, like literally any double digit besides 10s 11s or some 12s.....yeah...so, I dunno if I will pull through but yeah.
