In ̶l̶o̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ memory of Flickersable. Today I went to the border. I failed to kill her. I don't know how I'm still alive. I ran away, and I saw that tree, the one under which he would meet you. You and him would climb to the top, talk for hours, and share countless gifts. I pry the poppy cuff from my ankle and toss it onto the roots. I used to cry whenever I came here. But now I sit under the leaves, on his side. Not a shadow of a tear on my cheeks. A part of me loved you long ago. And she missed you. I put my claws on the wood, digging into the bark. I know you watch over me. Why? I've forsaken everything my eyes have laid upon: my clan, my leader, my kits. Don't take it personally. I can't remember the last time I looked at someone without seeing the end. I climb up, perching on a branch. My four kits, born. and I couldn't even cry. She put them on my back and I carried them like wads of moss. When I looked at her I saw her face, the curve of her muzzle and dew on her whiskers. But I never looked past it. I look out at the empty, rocky expanse below. When I see you I can see what used to be. You knew him. Your paths were interrupted. The memories swim in our eyes. I named her kits after you, Flicker. And I abandoned them. I'm not perfect. Perhaps I am the worst. I've been a bad parent, clanmate, friend, lover, enemy. But who I am isn't what you or anyone else makes of me. I'll see you on the other side. Your beloved will not. Sincerely, Zodiac. I jump off of the tree, on my way home.
