In the USA: "If the USA is so great, then why is there USB?" On Medical Advice: "My doctor said I only have three days to live. So I killed him. And the judge gave me 50 years." On the Internet: "I'm not interested in eternal life. I've been on the internet. I have seen enough." On Fast Food: "What are you doing in my house? I want waffle fries." On Dominance: "Whenever someone responds with 'I beg your pardon,' assert your dominance by saying 'Then beg.'" On Life Advice: "Don't break somebody's heart, they only have one of those. Break their bones, they have 206 of those bad boys." On Dairy: "Cheese is just a loaf of milk. Remember: If you feel dumb you're probably right. Think: Think once haha I didn't even think once Alcohol: Alcohol is gay because when you have too much of it you can't think straight.
