(harassment, panic attacks, and unspecified triggering topics) Hey so I’ve just been wanting to rant abt smth for a while and I feel like today is a good day to do that. So I have this friend (I’ll call him F) and about a month before school ended last year I found out he had a hugeeeee massive obsessive crush on me. He would say things that made me uncomfortable and I avoided him a lot after I found out and especially more when he told me a few days after I found out. One of my friends told me F would say really possessive things about me behind my back. I was recently talking to my mom about this all and she told me this was harassment. Something happened to me when I was in kindergarten (I won’t specify much bc this is a kids site) and some boys in my class were making discussing awful “jokes” about… something else I can say on scratch… which reminded me of my situation and I had a mental breakdown. F wanted to literally fight them for me. That was in like plate may or early June. In like early or mid August I told F the tiniest bit more abt what happened to me. I interpreted his response and invalidating my trauma. So I stopped talking to him for a month… Today (9/9/26, yes we start late idc) I started school. On my way to lunch I thought I saw him I gasped and I felt like I was in an elevator going down rlly fast. Like my soul dropped. Who I saw wasn’t F but I was surprised that I had that reaction. My last class of the day (theatre if you care :/ also my only class with him) I saw him and in seconds I felt everything just… idk my memory is weird, and I started having a panic attack, so I just dashed around the corner and collapsed. In a few minutes I went into the classroom but I felt it coming back. My wonderful amazing friend (I’ll call her M) was there for through it all, and helped me through it. My teacher let us go out to the hall to work through it and walking to the door just felt so awful… Anyway that’s all I gotta say for now… I’ll update this because I have this class every day. Later dudes :/
