I lwk just feel empty when I see people who have passions and know what they want to do when they grow up. im driven by passions and working hard when it means something to me, so I get so jealous seeing people so sure abt their futures when I am just lost or something. no matter what, I constantly have this urge to figure out what I want to do and who I want to be. I don't want to waste this life I have. I don't want to be unimportant in this world either. I want to work for something I love until I'm satisfied, I just wish I knew what that thing was. and when I try figuring it out, I'm given a bunch of questions that could help me figure out possible career choices, but I don't know how to answer any of them. it brought me to tears today lol. it reminds me of Beth from Little Women. she said herself she wasn't sure she even had a future cause she didn't know what she wanted to do, and simply couldn't envision her future. will that be me? am I constantly searching for something I can't even have anyway? I don't want to be destined for no future, but it's all so confusing.
the thing is, I don't even know if I want to make music for a living. it's just that, singing is when I feel most alive. the endless chaos of this world is silenced when im singing in the car to karate classes. it's genuine happiness for me, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. but what do I do with that feeling?
