hi. So, I've been gone for a long time. I'm really sorry. I had a lot of mental health issues. Really bad anxiety to the point where I'm terrified of opening the message box and finding that somebody is mad at me for something... I was just really scared. I know that sounds weird. I have 55 messages rn, and I'm freaking out. That makes no sense at all. ack. I have four scratch accounts. Every single one, I've ended up making some minor mistake, or writing something I don't like, and I feel awful about it. I never forgive myself for every tiny miscommunication, cringey moment, and mess up. I think I need to be nicer to myself. I just feel like I'm trapped in this cycle. I make a mistake, or I stop a series because I have no motivation at all, and then I feel guilty, so I make another account where I can start over. And then I make another mistake, and I can't deal with it, so I start over again. No matter how many accounts I make, I can't stop making mistakes. I can't stop tearing myself apart for things that shouldn't matter to me that much. I can't stop writing cringey, admittedly bad stories and then feeling bad when I can't finish them. I can't get out, and I hate it. A lot of ppl (mostly irl)) have told me that my writing is too cheesy, too unrealistic. Which is exactly the point, because I'm writing dystopian fiction. I apologize that it's not very good, but I'm going to make it better. About The Hunting, the series I was working on, there;s going to be some changes. - I am removing some of the covers. When I made them I was kinda like "eh everybody else uses AI why can't I?" I feel kinda bad abt that now. No hate to anybody who uses AI to make art, but I don't want to be using that anymore. When I replace the covers, they'll be stock images or something. -I'm also going to be editing the plot. I feel like its kind of going nowhere, the plot is really confusing and the dialogue is, well, very cringey. I'm sorry, guys. Whenever I try to write a story on the internet, it just ends up seeming awful and cringey, I lose all motivation, and I never finish it. If you've read the chapters already, you might want to reread them sometime soon. I will be making some HUGE changes. Not sure exactly what or when, but I will. I have four scratch accounts. Every single one, I've ended up making some minor mistake, or writing something I don't like, and I feel awful about it. I never forgive myself for every tiny miscommunication, cringey moment, I have four scratch accounts. Every single one, I've ended up making some minor mistake, or writing something I don't like, and I feel awful about it. I might not post another chapter of tH for a while. I'm not sorry about that. I've lost most of my motivation, and I need some space. Ok? Trying to be realistic here. I'm rambling, sorry. I also might steer this acc away from writing and focus more on animation and digital art. That just feels like less pressure is on me to make something. Thanks for listening to my vent/rant. Amethyst Out.
I need to accept it...my writing sucks. lol
