I gotta admit something. For about over a year I've been... VERY demotivated. In every way, not just on scratch. It's gotten to the point where I have to actively force myself to draw sometimes. No matter how long I wait or what I try, I can never get it back. And it's not just my hobby. I have trouble getting up in the morning, I have trouble getting motivation to do things like put away laundry or get food or any of that stuff. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but it's been like this for over a year. Sure, I get temporary bursts of motivation, but the longest they can last is a day and a half, maybe two days if I'm super lucky. And.. I keep looking back at things I've made from the start of this account, from the start of any of my accounts, and I can't help but feel heartache and maybe even a little jealousy over my past self. I had FUN. I was just doodling when I liked and doing things and it didn't feel agonizing. I look at all my old projects and they all feel so free, like I was doing this just to have fun and be a goofy individual and not to simply show that I'm still alive and active. But now it's agonizing to draw. Maybe it's because my style's gotten more complex and takes longer to draw, maybe that it's just that I'm more jaded or something, but whatever it is, something's up. I want to have fun again and have motivation again. I want to post every other day like I used to instead of 3 times a month on average and actually like doing it. I miss looking at my characters being able to move and be in an animation meme and feeling excited about it. I dunno ;-;
Splat Update Sept. 21: So uh, turns out I've been severely depressed and that's why I had no motivation for anything ;-; woops.
