I'm doing a real age reveal here because I don't care anymore. I lied, in not 13. I'm 12. I'm literally a child and I can't stop hating myself. ====================== Vent: I'm not even a teenager yet and all I worry about is finding my true love. It's painful. I don't need a lover at the moment, I don't even want one to be honest..... But my brain won't let that happen. I'm pretty sure I might have a very mild case of DID, since half of my brain is like a person comforting me and giving me positive love and thoughts to help keep me going, and the other half just hates. Hates and hates and hates. I feel like I'm never going to find my love. I probably will never confess to Oliver, the man who I am convinced is the love of my life, because I know it's not the same for him and he'll reject me. I punish myself by watching happy married couples on the internet and telling myself I'll never have that life. I'm never going to get a boyfriend. I'm never going to confess and be accepted by him. I'm never going to get married. I never going to have kids. Because I know Nobody is going to want someone like me. I know it's stupid to feel like this at my age.... All my friends are finding their matches and I'm long distance to the man I love. I can't even message him without it being awkward and suspicious of romantic feelings. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to d!e alone. ============================ Edit: I also know that if I don't find a lover people are going to think I'm a lesbain. I am not. I never will be. 2nd edit: I've decided that if I don't get married by the age of thirty, I am going to KMS.
Double p.s. - (this comes from my hateful side of my mind...) This is all your fault Axel. I WILL dox you and expose you. I will NEVER forgive you for what you did. I HATE YOU. YOU'RE THE WORST HUMAN BEING I HAVE EVER MET. I'm hypers*xual because of you. I'm self deprecating because of you. I suffered with depression because of you. I suffered SH/s*icidal thoughts because of you. =============== Message for Axel the world's biggest pr+ck: To Axel, Ik you won't see this but wtver. I hope you suffer worse than me. ⚠I know you cheated on me with a girl in new york. ⚠I know that you guilt tripped me into going out with you. ⚠ You never apologised for SA'ing me. ⚠ You said to one of my friends "that was in the last forgive me" about ur SA. ⚠ You once abandoned me in the middle of the street and went home.
