TW : is this too much. or am I too much? actually I don't want you too feel too guilty so maybe I did put too much.)) between you and me is no longer present. I wanted to say sorry but I froze upon. I was scared you'll say something filled with hatred. we once were best friends, but I don't know anymore. I feel I neglected our relationship. if I could make a wish, it would be everything already in past. I gathered my courage this wakening, just so I could apologize. I look at you and feel a sadness. maybe we could be friends again, just this once, if I did say and sorry for every lie and every one of my faults, I do wish we could be one of the 3 again. I've lost so many friend here and I'd say its my fault. no one will care what I write, or what they see here probably. all of us again? just with a apology? or am I being insincere. I might not be the best writer, or speller... but I do hope we meet again. and maybe this time it'll be long term. friends again. BEST friends again. I don't wanna see the hatred you might have towards me, as I am so disgustingly sensitive. it might be best that there was a reason that we ended up distant and ignorant against each other, and I'll accept its my fault for everything that's happened to me. I would love to be friends again, to everyone I ignored and grew distant to. I hope all of you see this, and maybe I'll have another ray of laughs. I'd never look at you with jealousy, but that's a lie too. I'm jealous of the people friends with you, cause I was once friends with you. maybe it wasn't jealousy but wistfulness, or a mix of both. I regret and despise everything I did to not even acknowledge our past. we had something. and now its nothing. I truly am sorry, and I want to be friends again. I'd know its my fault if you say no. every year I have less friends, in real life because of the summer distance, and online of busy time. I HATE HATE HATE HATE that I did all this. maybe it was my fault, it IS my fault. I'm guilty for everything that's wrong between us. I HATE it. can we just be friends again? just this once? I'm sorry. sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. and I'm sorry for misgendering you that time.
to everyone, but mostly you @misocore
