Just a little reminder for those out there like me, who are hyper aware of their situation. I guess I'll share my story first. My family isn't wealthy in the slightest, and we never have been, and we are just scrapping by middle-class. I feel guilty sometimes. My parents pay for me to march and do Winter percussion, which adds to over a 1000 each year. They drive 30+ minutes at the crack of dawn to get me to a good school where I get the best out of my education, and feel safe. It feels bad to ask for things. I got my old art tablet. I have my sticks and drum pad. I have a working phone. I feel guilty, and like I don't help enough. But, I take rigorous classes at an already high achieving school. I do the best in my art and hope to get Art honors society. I made Marimba line even though it's only my second year marching, and I'm 3 years of experience behind everyone else in music as a whole. I try to be friendly and kind to everyone, and work hard even though I feel like crap most days because I forgot to take meds the last few days and my mind starts spiraling again. Medical stuff sucks but I stick it out. I may not have a job, I may not be able to drive. But I have to remind myself that I am still working hard to get scholarships, and impress colleges. That I am trying my best when I feel like everyone thinks I'm weak or not intelligent enough. But I remind myself of my best trait - Resilience. I'm kind when I want to not be. I'm joyful when inside I would rather fly to the moon. I keep moving when my joints feel like giving out. I love others when they need it. I'm there to listen when a friend just needs someone to. I'm gentle and soft for those that need a quiet soul. I'm loud when my friends need a voice. I sit and stay when someone just needs a shoulder to lean on. I'm energetic when we need a cheerleader. I'm serious when the situation needs gentle care. I will help whenever you need it. I love when it feels impossible to love. And I care about everyone, no matter jerk or not. Because everyone has a human soul. And everyone has emotions, even the worst of us. It doesn't make it any easier. Not in the slightest. But I know I have to try because I might be the only one who does. So. When I really look at it, I am strong. I am brave. I am loving. I matter. And I am enough.
