me

Instructions

alright, just read it >:P so if u didn't know, I joined about 9 months ago- on this account. my first account ever created was @ninja_strong_kid_24 about 5 years ago, I did NOT like the username at all so I changed accounts. faze has always been... a name for me online. I use it because I like the way it sounds and looks, but then I found rain. now I use rain or faze online, but um yeah. I'm still young, whenever I reflect, its crazy I went from a not even 50 follower account in five years to a 150+ followers account in 8 months. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In real life, my best friend is @6guyfgefyu. I have multiple best friends, and its him and another friend and a couple others, but they were all on my Odyssey of the mind team (besides @6guyfgefyu). I like hanging out with more than one at a time, because I love chaos :3 but in crowded situations (when I play the dark game with my friend and his twin sister and a ton of people its basically hide and seek but da seeker is blindfolded), like when we play the dark game, I... get nervous. I don't know why, its not really nervous- its just... weird. so if ur reading this, @6guyfgefyu, its why I always tell people they can leave when I'm on the mattress thingy alone. I'm more... in control of myself and my ADHD when I'm alone. its also why I went in the backyard while everybody was in the front and came back when there were fewer people. I used to be friends with everybody but now, when I am older and not dumb anymore (well I still am but now I have 3 braincells!!!) I realized I wasn't. most of the girls in my class hate me for no reason- I don't really care, because I barely ever am even remotely attracted to girls. I can think, "oh, they look nice" if they dress up for a concert for orchestra or chorus or something, but thats just how brains work (mine, anyway). but I didn't do anything to them, and my friend around the block is widely considered "smarter" than me because he does 8th (now ninth) grade math. nobody cares at all that my reading comprehension level is eleventh (now twelfth) grade. and if I tried to be friends or be friendly with the boys I'm not best friends with, I get made fun of. for no reason, like I'm just entertainment value. so I became the funny kid, the silly one who doesn't take things seriously, who everybody thought was dumb. a kid who I wont say had a 67% GPA and was celebrating cuz of 67 while mine was 94.6%. he's popular, because some people just are. I'm not, at least not in the way people would want to be. I would imagine scenes in my head and wished they could read minds, because the scenarios would never happen... its what I began to do all the time, I would just start imagining. I read a ton, I still do. a girl in my class (one of my best friend's girlfriend who I HAD TO FREAKING SET UP, I literally told each of them the other liked them because they did and they wouldn't date!!! I had to play matchmaker and FINALLY they started dating) called me stupid in front of are teacher, and he said that I was probably one of the smartest kids in the class. it made me happy, because he is the best teacher I've ever had. I say that every year, but this time I mean it- he was the best. 's sister gets tutored by him, he told to say hi to me for him. I want to learn piano, but not only to learn songs... I want to prove to them, to EVERYBODY that I'm worth something, that I have talent. I wanted them to know I wasn't useless, and some days, school was pure hell for me. even in four square, just because I wasn't popular, the kid around the corner was automatically better. they randomly just made him popular and made fun of me, when I literally beat him every time. I got a ton of people out and he got like three people and they said he carried me. I don't consider them my friends- they said I had a crush on a person in my class because they asked me who was more w, me or him and I said him because they all say he's w. then I explained but I was sewing my friends names on my shirt in art and his was there and they said I had a crush. I didn't, and I always get blamed for everything. I got moved because my friend was talking and causing trouble, and my friend and I got moved. everybody claims I'm stupid, and I know it isn't true. so i just started playing along. I acted dumb because I figured I would get made fun of less if I did. I was right. the only person who understands me (besides , who I am going to call sixer from now on) is a person I have known since I was 3 or something like that. I'm not going to say their name or their pronouns in case anybody who knows me in real life makes fun of them. anyway we used to hang out a ton, and sit on my swing set or play Mario Kart at her house. they are bi, and I identified as bi at the time- I just... I don't remember to be honest. I don't know what I felt to know I was bi, but then I was pan, now I'm abro and usually gay.