(This is a semi-truthful parody, meant to shed light on how American laziness is why America is collapsing, not because the system itself is broken, but because we are broken. Everything I say here is me impersonating the average American, saying the quiet part aloud) Americanism is an authoritarian ideology, based on the democratic desires of the American people. First off, who needs Congress? We don't really care about Congress, especially compared to how much we care about the President. We are going to scrap Congress and give the President full Executive and Legislative powers! That way, when our party wins the Presidency, we can oppress the other side as we want! States are just tools of liberty and are too much work, who needs them? We should just become "America", let us destroy the States. Nobody cares about them anyways. Oh, and what about the Supreme Court? It is such a nuisance when the people I like are in power, let us scrap it. Who cares what is "Constitutional", that is a rubbish document anyways. The President should be elected every 2 years, instead of 4, as when the President I dislike is in power, that is a nightmare that cannot last 4 years. The President should have the authority to stomp on everyone's rights, I hate my neighbor more than I hate being oppressed, so you know- So in summary, forget the entire American political system. All we want is an elected dictator, like Roman Consuls, but a king instead. We will riot anytime we hate our neighbors and we shall attack them, but when we want anything, all we will do is complain. This is the American Dream, not "freedom" or "liberty", that's liberal (Whether neo-liberal/classical-liberal/woke-liberal/whatever) propaganda! What we want is a despot! Forget small businesses, they are expensive. All I care about pocketing as much money as I can, all that matters to me is hating others and materialism. So, we should have one giant monopoly on everything, whether state-owned or private. This Monopoly I will complain about constantly, but will never try to get rid of. Getting up to solve my issues is too hard, I don't want to do it. Instead, I want a charismatic dictator like Trump or Mamdani to come and fix everything for me. Is that Fascism/Communism, uh- No :3 Everyone I hate should be arrested, deported and executed. Everyone I like should get a hundred dollars from the government. We should have everything for free, the government should just pay for everything, I don't care if the government is in debt, it's not my problem- Bless America, the land of despots and sheep :D If someone tells me something, I should instantly believe it. America is a dictatorship now, and with these policies proposed, America will become a true democracy. There is no truth outside our oppressors! I hate every country besides America. Sure, maybe some countries have it pretty good, but we should just steal their economic model and nuke them. Sure, I might claim to love innocents across the world, but really, I would be happy if they were slaughtered if it meant I got ten dollars :D America is the only country, all others are terrible, except for North Korea, they are okay for some reason- If China or Russia invaded anyone, it's not our problem. Sure, we will love NATO and such, in case America is invaded, but if any other country is invaded, we shouldn't care. Basically, I am God, and everyone else who isn't an American should bow down to me, and compliment me. I don't have an ego problem, you have an ego problem, jerk! So long as half of the country which votes likes my side, all those who oppose, ESPECIALLY THE CENTRISTS, should be round up and executed. If you aren't the 50.00000000001%, then you deserve to have all your rights taken away. Sorry, this is just how life should work. Infact, America should just be a one-party state, with my political party leading it. I love the oligarchs who run the political parties, they are gods to me which I worship, or at least will never criticize. All other political parties, especially my rival one, should be outlawed.
