Abyssalabsence had gotten the feeling that their time was running out. The older cats in the clan were more mobile, more active than them. It wasn’t entirely their age that was wearing them down. They didn’t have a diagnosis for it, but something was draining their life away. Had been, for the past two or three moons. A long time ago, they had imagined that learning that their death was approaching would be terrifying. But, sitting there, watching their former apprentices peacefully rest in their nests, they realized that they felt no dread. No sadness regarding what was to come. How could they? They had lived a life. Lived many names. Abyssalkit, Abyssalpaw, Abyssalsigh, Abyssalpaw again. And, finally, Abyssalabsence. They had made mistakes. Terrible, terrible mistakes. They couldn’t fix them, as much as they wished that they could. They hadn’t been able to save every patient, every cat they cared about. But every decision they had made led them to where they were now. And were they satisfied here? Here, in a clan they had been in for most of their life. In a clan they had served and loved. In a clan where they were loved. Cats could say that Abby didn’t belong here. Didn’t belong because they had spikes and not wings on their back. But they did belong here. An Icecat in Falconclan- They were more than that. They were a medicine cat, a mentor, a friend. Falconclan was their family, even if it wasn’t in the traditional way. They say that home is where your heart is. And Abyssalabsence’s heart was right here, in this den, in this camp, on this territory. Yes. Abyssalabsence was happy with their life. There would be cats that would not care about their passing, walk past their vigil without a second thought. Cats that would be happier because Abby was no longer breathing. And there would be cats that would be devastated by it. But Abyssalabsence knew them. They were strong. They would get through it, and they wouldn’t let it break them down. Abby knew that. There were small rays of light that had begun to creep through into the den. Abyssalabsence stood up. They gently grabbed their gloves out of the pile of accessories near their nest. They put one beside Silencesolidarity’s nest, quiet enough not to wake him. They put the other part of the pair next to Milkweedwhistle’s. They didn’t have much to give their fellow medicine cats after their passing. But they hoped that the gloves, at least, would serve as a reminder that the two would always be a team, always be together. A reminder that they would always able to rely on each other for support when they needed it. Two halves of the same pair. Abyssalabsence turned back to the rest of the accessories in the pile. Their Ita bag, face stickers, and flowers. They had given their sapphire and labubu away to their kits. Abby brushed a paw over the items, smiling softly. They had first started wearing those flowers when they had joined Falconclan. They hoped that they would be buried with some. That would be nice. Abby turned to the herb stores. Looking over every herb, every plant, every poison. Everything they had worked so hard to memorize the purposes of. They looked back at their fellow medicine cats. They would do well, Abby knew. Abby was so proud of them. It really was. Abyssalabsence wheezed as they left the den. They were lucky to get this chance. To say goodbye. So many cats they had lost had never gotten that chance. Abby would not take this gift for granted. Abby looked around the camp. They walked by the warrior’s den, the apprentice’s den, the kit’s den. They saw them all- their clanmates, at rest. Quillquiver’s kits were curled up against a queen, all sleeping. Tears started to form at the corner of Abyssalabsence’s eyes for the last time. They felt happy, at peace. It spotted a small rock near the exit of camp. They climbed it, leaving a small layer of frost over the grass. They felt the grass, the stone, the moss… They cherished it all. Cherished it more than any iceberg. The tip of the rock lead to a stunning view. The clouds tinted golden swirling below. The dark mountains that homed so much life, surrounding them there in that moment. Abyssalabsence looked at the rising sun, free tears falling down their cheeks. They could’ve sworn that they saw the faces of all their lost loved ones in the sky. Beckoning them to come forward. Abby looked back down at the camp one more time. The clan was fast asleep, but cats would soon begin waking up for dawn duties. Someone would find them here, eventually… The Icecat’s dark blue eyes lingered on the dens for a moment more before they looked back at the territory. Abyssalabsence lay down on to the soft stone. Comfortably curled up into a ball. Smiled. And watched as light filled the sky.
Abyssalabsence’s life is over. It sure has been a wild ride since I signed them up over a year ago for an event. There are some things I regret doing with them, but overall, I’m happy with how their life went, and how it ended. They’re at peace, now, though this doesn’t mean that I’ll stop roleplaying them- they’ll continue on in Starclan, though I may be less active with them. It really was emotionally taxing of me to write this, though- even though Abyssalabsence isn’t completely gone, I am shedding a few tears. I really do love my silly 67-month-old goat. And, yes, killing her off at 67 moons was intentional. I do love Abby, but I really think it is time for someone new. And, well, 67 was the perfect age to kill them off! Keep an eye out for my next TSS character- I hope to make them just as interesting as Abby. Maybe even a little weird. That being said, I do have some acknowledgments I’d like to give out to some people- for sticking there and supporting Abyssalabsence’s story throughout all or most their life. First of all, @CollectorOfFears . You owned Sealsnicker, Abyssalabsence’s sibling… Seal really did play such an important role in Abby’s life, even if star wasn’t around for long. Seal really was a big inspiration for Abby’s main goal in life, to help as many cats as they possibly could. Thank you for roleplaying with me, even when I was, well… Cringe, aha :’) @-SpectralMessenger-- Scout!! Topazdawn also had a big impact on Abby’s life- and, not just because she was the reason they joined Falconclan in the first place. Topaz stuck with Abby through a lot, and did help support them. Paz was one of the most prominent figures in Abby’s life, and you’ve also been a really fun person to talk to. Thank you for roleplaying with me ! @SkyclanYears Where to start? Chimestrike was one of Abyssalabsence’s closest friends. Their dynamic was really enjoyable, and her passing left quite an impact on Abby, too. I’m sorry the plot we had planned didn’t work out quite as we wanted it to, but nevertheless I did have fun roleplaying with you :) @arandomt3nnisplay3r + @dragoncollection- Abyssalabsence never was prepared for their kits, and was an awful parent. Their abandonment of their kits was a plot I was really hoping would be explored by their kits, and you two nailed it! It was really fun to roleplay Abyssalabsence’s gradual realization that they had to come back to their kits, and, learn how to be a better parent. I really did enjoy all of our three-way and 1 on 1 roleplays, and I’m glad Abby’s kits went to such great owners! Thank you for roleplaying with me :) @_-DreamingClouds-_ Snugglebugdream did really have a major impact on Abby, even though they only had a few roleplays together. When fae was leader, they let Abby into Falconclan, and, later, Abby attacked them. Snuggs really did change their life, and, overall, for the better. A part of Abby is still grateful to moon for letting them in to Falconclan. Thank you for roleplaying with me :) @SilencedShadows Silencesolidarity. wow. Abby and their first apprentice’s relationship didn’t start off well at all. It was just back-and-forth insults and disrespect. Abby did learn, though, from their mistakes, and, now the two are in a better relationship. Abby really is proud of Sil. It was really interesting to me to see the two of them both grow as characters and repair their relationship. Thank you for roleplaying with me :) @Cloversight I absolutely loved Milkweedwhistle and Abby’s dynamic! They were really fun to roleplay, and Miku did have a large impact on Abby’s life. Miku is another one of Abby’s closest friends, and I really did enjoy all of our roleplays with them. Abby is so proud of Miku as well. Thank you for roleplaying with me! There are so many other people I wish I could list here, but I’m running out of room. But, to anyone who’s cat has ever interacted with Abby, just know that they’ve had some impact on them, and I really am grateful to be in a place where I can roleplay with so many different people and have fun. I’m so grateful to have met all of you amazing people through roleplaying. To the moderation team. Even though things have been really messy and complicated recently, I do appreciate all of the opportunities I was given- for Abby to exist, to move to Falconclan, to become a medicine cat- TSS really is my comfort roleplay, and I’m really happy to be here. Thank you all so much for being with me through this incredible journey.
