PARODY OF THE CAMPFIRE SONG FROM THE PJO MUSICAL CHORUS: Oh, things couldn't be worse when your parents run the universe Oh, things couldn't be worse When your folks run the universe Percy (talking): I guess I'll just start since Luke isn't here. Percy: My dad's Poseidon, he's the God of the sea. He never answers my prayers, does he even notice me? Got expelled from six schools, my life is a wreck And monsters keep trying to break my neck! *Chorus again* Percy (Talking): Your turn, Wise Girl. Annabeth: My mum's Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom. She expects me to fix the Olympian System. I spend my time on architectural blueprints, While trying not to get eaten by ancient spider mutants! *Chorus again* Leo (Talking): Time for the Bad Boy Supreme! Piper (Talking): Seriously? Still using that nickname? Leo (Talking): Duh! Leo: My dad's Hephaestus, so I can make fire, My life is a constant exploding high-wire, I built a metal dragon and a boat to travel around And half to things I make get burnt to the ground! Leo (Talking): Who's next? Pipes? Piper: My mum's Aphrodite, of love and beauty, But being the pageant queen is NOT my duty, I fight with a dagger and charmspeak my foes, While my siblings are obsessed with matching clothes! *Chorus* Jason: (Pretend he's alive) My dad's Jupiter- Or Zeus- depending on the day, I got struck by lightning (Hazel: What?) but hey, I'm OK! I woke up with amnesia in the middle of nowhere, And honestly? I'm just trying to keep my perfect hair! Percy (Talking): Dude. Jason (Talking): I didn't know what else to say! Hazel: My dad is Pluto, Roman God of the Dead, I've got a cursed past stuck in my head! I summon diamonds when I'm scared or stressed, I d--d in the 1940's, could you have guessed? CHORUS: Oh, things couldn't be- Frank (Talking): Can I go? Leo (Talking): Dude, you interrupted the chorus. Whatever, just go. Frank: My dad is Mars, he wants me ruthless and strong But I'm just clumsy, and wanting to get along I can shapeshift into an elephant, or a bee! But my life depends on a stick, you see. *Chorus* Will (Talking): Hey Meg, you've been quiet. Do you want to go? Meg (Talking): I want to be last. Will (Talking): Alright then. I'll go! Will: My dad's Apollo, I'm the medic of the crew I glow in the dark when I don't know what to do I spend my time fixing everybody's head And my whistle can wake up the dead. Percy (Talking): It can what?! Will (Talking): It was a metaphor. Will (Talking): Hey Nico, maybe you can sing a verse. Nico (Talking): No. Will (Talking): Guys, Nico REALLY wants to go. Nico (Talking): Fine! Nico: *I didn't write this part* My dad is Hades, the Greek Lord of the Dead. Skeletons rise wherever I tread. I lost my mum and sister and got him instead. Oh, no-o-o But in between all of the dread and the tears, He trapped me in time for SEVENTY years. Oh, things couldn't be worse when your parents run the universe. Nico (Talking): Happy? *Chorus* Meg (Talking): Okay, I'll go now. Meg: Mom's Demeter, so don't mess with my plants I throw gold scimitars and make monsters dance (Percy talking: What?) I survived Emperor Nero and a whole lot of grief And made Apollo my servant, to his utter belief. *Chorus x2*
