`` the path `` an Elkpaw SRP

Instructions

Elkpaw drifted aimlessly along the beach, unsure of where they were going but feeling a strong desire to continue. His paws sank into the sand, leaving shallow dents in his wake. Glancing back at the path he had created, they sat in the sand and reflected on where life had been taking him... He had wanted to be a medic as a kit; which, he supposed, should not be reflected on as if he hadn't been considered a kit a few sunrises ago. He was not chosen to learn the ways of a medic but had always found little interest in becoming a warrior. Though now that he thought about it, he did not handle other cats' pain very well, had not-great memory or organization skills, and wandered off and completely forgot what he was doing almost always in a day. But the idea of... /attacking/ other cats on purpose was worse. He had even been hesitant to kill prey when [mentor] had taken him out hunting yesterday, so hurting his own species? Out of the question. Despite his certainty he would fail at being a medic, he had so long ago ruled out training as a warrior that he was shocked not to be chosen in spite of himself. What path lie in wait for him, if he hated both? How could he enjoy themself when they were leading a life beyond their home? Ever since leaving Flurryclan. Elv had felt a loss, a hole in his heart where his loyalty to the old territory was. They still thought of Flurryclan as their true home in the back of their mind. It was so much smaller; more peaceful. Flurryclan territory was full of life and beauty flowers and sunshine and plenty of prey. Here there were so many cats he often only ate once a day and hunting practice was serious business. Elkpaw shook his head to clear it and flopped himself onto the sand. He wasn't being rational; he had no choice. They were already Elkpaw, Elkpaw the warrior apprentice, doomed to train to hurt other cats or risk being punished for betraying his clan. His new clan, Urchinclan. They loved following rules, he told themself. What was wrong with just ducking down and doing what he was told like usual? The warrior code or his moral code? What was truly right? Could he somehow do both?? Why was this so HARD? He understood things! He was Elkpaw, logical, thoughtful, /SMART ELKPAW/! Smart Elkpaw did not /have/ moral dilemmas! They nodded and smiled and learned by watching quietly! Smart Elkpaw would suck it up and go home! Why were they talking like he and Smart Elkpaw were two different cats? He /was/ Smart Elkpaw... right? Elkpaw rolled until he was face down in the sand. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, it wasn't how he planned it! Life was supposed to make SENSE! It was supposed to be fun, and easy, and happy... With Bellflowerkit he had been happy... Elv leapt to his paws. He could /not/ go back there. That was from home- no, from Flurryclan. What used to home, but now he lived in Urchinclan. ``I guess I should head /home/, in that case, `` he said aloud to themself, turning to follow his paw-steps back toward camp. For now, Smart Elkpaw won. But he couldn't shake off the lingering question; it was stuck in his brain harder than the clumps of sand stuck to his pelt and try as he might he could not shake it off as easily. /Is this really home? /