when i was young, i loved to watch tv. it always showed one channel. it was in colors of black and white and plain. i liked it that way. it was simple, it was easy to understand. then, when i went to other people's houses, i saw that their tvs were of bright colors. i was disgusted. i was taught that bright colors would kill your eyes and that they would numb your brain. so i would ignore the colors. i much prefered my own tv. then one day, i turned ten. the tv flashed colors of yellow and purple with the regulars. at first, i thought it was a glitch. so i would sometimes hit the tv and it would fix itself sometimes. but other times, i would simply ignore it. i went away and started cutting my hair shorter. i started to wear more tomboyish clothes. when i came back, on one side, the tv showed colors of blue and white and pink, and on the other, teal and white and blue. i was disgusted. so i would dim the colors of the tv so it would be more monochrome. but soon, staring at the tv with dimmed colors strained my eyes. so slowly, i turned the brightness up. one day, my mother saw the channel. she yelled at me and told me that watching tv with such bright colors would make me regret in the future. and she turned the tv off and stopped me from going to my friend's houses. then i turned eleven. she gave me back my tv. but it still flashed those bright, bright colors. but the teal and blue side was turning into yellow and pink and blue. so i hid the tv from my mother and my friends and family. i would turn it off whenever they came into the room. and i kept the yellow, pink and blue side covered with a piece of paper that showed teal and blue instead. but recently, my mother saw the colors of the tv. she pretended to be nurturing towards my love for the colors, but i knew she was silently telling me to throw away the tv. she tells me that the colors of the tv will hurt my eyes more because of my autism and adhd. because im so young. she yells at me. and deep down, i know she hates the colors. she doesn't like them at all. neither does the country i live in. in fact, they banned the colors and made the punishment for having them severe. i don't plan on staying here for much longer. one day, i'll grow up and bring my tv to somewhere better. somewhere safer. but for now, i hide it. i resist, and i fight in silence. this isn't about tvs.
https://youtu.be/5Uhke452WnQ?si=3dbfx4UYz6qCXcW- i know it's a little late for pride month but still :PP
