so the last time i posted something was several months ago and i have a lot of stuff in my drafts. despite that i havent been working on them at all, and i log in once or twice a week instead of regularly like i used to on previous accounts. the question is, why? 1. devices. i usually draw on my tablet using ibispaintX, but for personal reasons i will not go into, i haven't had access to my tablet. i don't like using scratch's vector because drawing with a mouse seriously flares up my chronic pain, which is the worst in my arms, wrists, and fingers. using ibispaintX on a phone is just uncomfortable and tbh with my phone right now i doubt it would even be able to run it. i MIGHT get a new phone this summer but that probably won't change anything 2. school. as of the 2025-26 school year i've been homeschooled via an online school. after sitting at a screen all day every day (or at least every other day in my case), you kind of get tired of it. i typically only log in on the days i do school (tuesday, thursday) based on my dad's work schedule, and with some exceptions. next year i'm going back to regular school where i'll have my own chromebook but that also means i'll have a lot of work from my classes. 3. scratch's accessibility. i have visual difficulties, especially with color contrast, text, and just general website layout. scratch doesn't really have accessibility settings and for some reason my browser settings and extensions don't work. i hope that the "new, fresh design" that the NGP will have will be easier for me, but as of right now, i have to limit my use. excessive use can cause me migraines, eye strain, and dizziness. 4. physical health. as i've mentioned, i deal with chronic pain. over the last several years, me, my doctors, and my family have suspected a couple different diagnoses, but none of them have been proven. so far, we've gone from cfs to fibromyalgia to arthritis to scoliosis to eds, and only scoliosis has been confirmed. i have extreme joint pain, particularly in my fingers, wrists, and arms. typing and using a mouse can really flare it up, and sitting at a desk or computer can cause neck and back pain to flare up, which can trigger a whole plethora of other problems. i'm not keen on sacrificing my physical health for social media that i'm not entirely invested in rn anyways. 5. mental health. my mental health hasn't been great lately, and while i'm stable, i still need to prioritize taking care of myself and my wellbeing over everything else. plus, i've been going through extreme dysphoria lately, and it makes socializing hard and sometimes painful. i will be detached, dry, or seem uninterested because i just can't find a connection as a result of my mental state. again, i'm perfectly stable and safe. i like to say that "i'm not better, i'm not okay, i'm just better at not being okay." i felt that that's a pretty important point to make so that nobody will worry if i'm offline for a long time. :) 6. because i'm turning 17 next month, i'm going to start working with my medical team on a gender dysphoria diagnosis so that i can transition when i turn 18. i've been warned that online activity can make some doctors skeptical, which is absurd to me, but i don't want to take any risks. with the recent... uh... situation in the us, it's already going to be extremely difficult for me, not to mention the area i live in. 7. i absolutely hate how my profile looks and i'm working on revamping it -sob- there's one project i MIGHT share, even as a wip, depending on how it goes, but that's got a low chance of happening
