I miss everything. I miss my old friends and how we always used to talk to eachother on dc and st. Just thinking back and reviewing our old chats makes me hate how I lost everything I needed. You, my friends, I needed someone like them to make me feel important and special. but now? I don't really know. My friends have been hacked, inactive, and I made bad desiciosn that made me loose friendship too. Im so imature I go talk back to my old friends hoping they remember cus I deprestely need love, I'm so greedy. I just want my old times back again, not my parents stupid rules, these events that ruin everything, and school that invades my plans (though I always have free time I'm just stupid enough not to talk to you guys,) I miss everything. I didn't want them to go away, these people and feelings that made me giggle, smile, and happy. and reactions from old friends on secret accounts make me sad. I miss it. I miss everything. i'd do anything to have it back. I wished I spent more time with you guys, and let everything go along just so I wouldnt mess up, but, of course, theres no such thing as perfect. I did horrible things that I should've never done and it makes me feel guilty and regretful for lifelong time, then I think back to those times where I could've changed things and did better for myself to keep what I had at that time exepct I'm not that much of a thinker, and I do things as soon I think of it. You were my hope and I shattered that hope, I lost it. I hate myself so much. Im just sitting on this couch with a straight face, not teary or sorrowful but what is? The feelings inside. I always hide it. typing this right now makes me wanna cry and pretend that everything is happening again right infornt of my eyes. I loved teasing each other and making jokes, adding each other in our projects, but no. We've all grown old of this site and gacha. Like we have no more motivation untill you remember those you made friends. We keep disappearing and coming back thinking everything will be the same. our friends and the platform and drama, and I'm especially sorry to one of my friends that I lost. Im so sorry. Im sorry sorry sorry. I just want to relive every cheerful moment we had and cherish it, but I can only do it in my head because its not possible. And to those whose friends died is a bigger feeling that I have not experienced, but yet they still moved on unlike me. They're so more mature and braver than me. I could sulk about a friend for days and yet they can move on with a breakup or stuff. I miss everuthinh I had on this site, friends, projects, my motivation. I hate myself for losing it, even though I know myself that it would happen no matter what. im pathetic and babyish. I hate myself. I miss them. I miss the moments. I need it, I'm greedy and selfish. I just need it though. I cant stop myself from saying everything on here. My parents, my family, no one else would understand it but you guys could, for a reason that we shared some experiences. I love you all and I hate myself. Im sorry to everyone I disgraced. Im sorry.
