I feel so strange, invincible. Somehow everything in my life is catching up to me all at once. Everything I've done, thought about, seen, felt is coexisting as one. I feel so ecstatic to have a friend so close. I feel guilt about what she's seen of me, shame over things I have felt, yet at the same time I'm so happy about all the good moments we've had together, the future in which I can envision her despite everything. I feel inferior, equal and above at the same time. I don't deserve anything from anyone, yet at the same time my ego could never be affected by this deficiency. Everyone else deserves to be shamed, maybe we can all suffer together. I think I've been banished to Earth as punishment for knowing what humans could've been. I feel so disgusted by humanity but at the same time humans can be overly beautiful. Their passions, interests, drive. Meaning. I feel full of meaning and emptied of it all at once. I know what I want, but I'm not sure if I'll ever reach it. I feel like I could do whatever I wish once I escape, but the burden of my past will still haunt me. I feel it chasing me. I hope other kids my age have a good life. I hope they don't. I feel so empty. I've felt too much. I feel invincible, I could do anything I want to. I want to dance around the room like an absolute fool, show them i'm not afraid and I'm happy to be one amongst my peers. I'm one! I exist with everyone. I live in everyone's minds and it feels good. Yes, it feels...Every part of me will carry them as long as they don't forget my immortal magic. They should be so thankful as to have me here. A gift from the heavens. I hate myself.
HELP READING THIS FOUR MONTHS LATER IS SO FUNNY AHHAHAH that was a really bad day actually ( ≧Д≦) this is all behind me tho teheh
