piece by piece | dreamfantasy writing

Instructions

the hybrid tom's footsteps were quiet against the hard, centuries old lava rock. it was not a type of ground you could get used to in a day, no, it had, while he would never admit so, given him sore paws for what must have been millenia even know logically, he knew thus was not to be- aching paws. a simple mispleasure among the hundreds of things he'd recieved here in pyroclan. and that was fine. this was the clan that had given him sanctuary, and taken him into a place where he would never have to feel the terrible, terrible cold again. how pathetic it was, a pyrocat hybrid scared of a simple chill. but it was something that had rooted itself in his brain, almost year ago now, wasn't it? a year since cometray was gone. cometray. it seemed strange to utter her name in his mind now, in a place she'd had no place for so long. or ever. dreamfantasy wondered that sometimes, when he'd been a little younger and still thought of her outside of this moment. he wondered if she'd ever actually had a place in pyroclan, as he'd always vaguely remembered her claiming. or maybe it was wrong. who was he to know, but he'd never brought up her name to anyone. not an elder, not a warrior, not even crusadewander or voyagelegacy. why would he? she was somewhat nobody now. trapperstar had taken her place, in a way. in a different way, dreamfantasy thought. in official conversation, he said dama. but he didn't see his adoptive parent that way, he had to admit. he knew trapperstar loved him, yes, but he wasn't sure if his feelings extended that way in the same way. dreamfantasy would honestly call it more of an alliance, a trust, he knew as he walked across the territory. an alliance was fine. an allegiance more like, really. it... felt better, in a way, to finally think of it that way, in his mind. like many things, he would not say it aloud, but he'd never been a family ties cat. he believed more in the bonds built and the trust gathered, rather than the instictive claim to it that the title of 'family' may attempt to bring. no, he didn't quite trust all of the cats who'd been named his family. he supported them, yes, but he didn't really truely trust anyone here, did he? he'd come a long way, yes. he felt secure in pyroclan, and he felt like he had a place, which was a beautiful thing. there was schedhule, tasks, and punishments if you stepped out of line. sometimes there wasn't enough command to structure his day, and freedom was something he'd unfortunately always struggled with, rather prefering a task by task form of life. which pyroclan provided, it provided the security too. dreamfantasy was sure he would not just be a nameless victim to some crazy cat here, he would fight to protect his clanmates and he knew his clanmates would do the same for him. at least some of them, perhaps. but more on the topic, he corrected himself, no, oneself does not trust anyone with my secrets, and that's why no one knows about the eye scar. but is it really? their internal voice muttered. or is it insecurity? does oneself just not wish to speak of a failure? of when your confidence leaked away and you cowered when you had no reason to, when you didn't show a strong front for pyroclan. it's not my sole duty, you claim. but it was your sole duty, right there. and you failed, you perhaps showed that seaclan cat that pyrocats cowered and could be pushed around. but surely it would only happen once, right? twice. if he ever ran into that arrogant pyrofalcon again, if he decided to meander back onto their territory, he would make sure they didn't come back. or at least, did not try to. i hope.