Roe Naldo - The Next Football Sensation? The gripping story of a young salmon roe and his dreams. ---------------------------------------- Roe Naldo, the next door salmon roe. Thinks they're the next football champ, has a headshot streak of 100%, and caused over $10 billion in property damage. Spends fifty percent of their time in their backyard, the other fifty in the basement, and one hundred percent of their time with a football. He is known for being successful in headshotting his neighbors from his basement. The story of this young wannabe superstar begins when his parents got eaten by a grizzly bear when he was very young, causing the little roe to grow up freeloading with a sea-turtle. He eventually was evicted and then took up his passion after an accident involving a coconut while living with a sea sponge. Roe Naldo now has become so famous that he receives more than 100 dinner invites from a certain boops boops daily. Roe has never accepted one yet, because he never shows favoritism to his "fans". The boops boops in question when interviewed stated "broop boop blurb bub bub buh burbub," translating to "Boops collected enough resources to slow-cook that fish wad for ten years." Roe Naldo has been waiting for "the one" to discover his talent and take him up to worldwide recognition for five years, but Roe Naldo believes it will be any day before he becomes an overnight sensation. So many people are vying to reach Roe that there have been two hundred reported trespassing accounts weekly (with a great multitude of unreported accounts), ten total detonated fireworks in his home vicinity, and over thirty thousand tripwires set up all around his property by "loving" fans. Fortunately the only casualties included a few punctured footballs. Roe Naldo currently has ten dollars in assets and lives in an abandoned coral reef. Roe stated in a recent interview, "Blob lub ba-dubdub." Which translates perfectly to absolute gibberish. Thank you for joining us in this fascinating tale. ---------------------------------------- News story covered by Pluckers, a smiling aruba parrotfish from Reef Reviews.
random news clipping from an archived article. illustrations by @sdooqsdooq. audio from Youtube.
