bonus features inside! I'm VexingCookie407 btw (this song is an overexaggeration of how little I play Survival Minecraft) -----------------------------------lyrics-------------------------------- (Verse 1) Spawned in a brand new world, completely clueless and lost, Didn't punch a single tree, didn't calculate the cost. Nighttime is falling fast, the zombies awake, VexingCookie407, oh, the mistakes you make. Built a dirt house, but forgot to make a roof, Got shot by a skeleton, man, we've got the proof. (Verse 2) Tried to tame a wild wolf with a piece of rotten meat, Dug straight down into the dark, a rather tragic defeat. Hunger bar is empty, hearts are getting low, Where did all his iron and his cobblestone go? Looked an Enderman right in the glowing purple eyes, Another inventory lost, to nobody's surprise. (Chorus) Oh, VexingCookie407, he's the king of the noobs, Losing all his diamonds inside bubbling lava tubes. Can't craft a pickaxe, doesn't know how to make a door, Always blowing up to creepers on the cavern floor. He's playing on easy, but it feels like hardcore, VexingCookie407, respawning once more. (Verse 3) Decided to go farming, thought he'd grow a little wheat, Planted seeds on barren sand, staring at his feet. Brought a bucket to the field, but it was filled with fire, Burned his little garden down, the situation's dire. Tried to shear a creeper, thought it was a fuzzy sheep, Blew a crater in the ground that was fifty blocks deep. (Verse 4) Finally built a portal, time to face the Nether heat, Forgot his golden armor, Piglins rushed him in a fleet. Tried to block a Ghast ball with a single block of dirt, Fell right into the magma, oh man, that had to hurt. Brought a cozy bed along to set his spawn point there, Clicked it once and blew the whole dimension in the air. (Chorus) Oh, VexingCookie407, he's the king of the noobs, Losing all his diamonds inside bubbling lava tubes. Can't craft a pickaxe, doesn't know how to make a door, Always blowing up to creepers on the cavern floor. He's playing on easy, but it feels like hardcore, VexingCookie407, respawning once more. (Verse 5) Back into the overworld, looking for some shiny ore, Mined a block of gravel, then it crashed right through the floor. Suffocating in the flint, couldn't dig his way back out, Screen says "You have died" again, making Cookie pout. Had a map to treasure, but he held it upside down, Wandered to the ocean biome, almost had to drown. (Verse 6) Found a little village, thought he'd make some emerald trades, Punched a friendly farmer while displaying all his blades. Iron Golem saw it happen, tossed him to the sky, Cookie didn't have a water bucket, had to say goodbye. Respawned at the world spawn, thousands of blocks away, Rage-quit the entire server, calling it a day. (Chorus) Oh, VexingCookie407, he's the king of the noobs, Losing all his diamonds inside bubbling lava tubes. Can't craft a pickaxe, doesn't know how to make a door, Always blowing up to creepers on the cavern floor. He's playing on easy, but it feels like hardcore, VexingCookie407, respawning once more. (Verse 7) Next week he came back again, determined to improve, Crafted up a wooden hoe, he thinks he's on the move. Tried to fight a zombie with a single stick of wood, Didn't wear his iron pants, though everybody should. Went to find the Stronghold wearing nothing but his boots, Fell into a deep ravine, dropping all his loot. (Verse 8) Built a giant roller coaster, forgot to place the rails, Every single brilliant scheme inevitably fails. Tried to milk a hostile spider, tried to ride a bat, Put his furnace in a lake, man, what is up with that? He's the greatest legend that the server's ever known, Sitting on a dirt block that he proudly calls his throne. (Bridge) Will he ever learn to craft? Will he ever learn to mine? Will he ever read the wiki, or look for any sign? He tries to brew a potion using gravel and some string, VexingCookie407, man, you don't know anything! But we love to watch him play, it's a comedy of errors, Running from a baby zombie in a state of terror. (Chorus) Oh, VexingCookie407, he's the king of the noobs, Losing all his diamonds inside bubbling lava tubes. Can't craft a pickaxe, doesn't know how to make a door, Always blowing up to creepers on the cavern floor. He's playing on easy, but it feels like hardcore, VexingCookie407, respawning once more. (Outro) Yeah, keep trying, Cookie... Maybe don't dig straight down this time. Please put the lava bucket away. Watch out for that... oh, never mind. Game over. Respawn.
