it's as if the two halves of me have been seperated, my own reflection staring back at me through a peony tinted mirror. the girl i was before staring back at the boy i am now. her gaze is longing, wistful, even; just like the pink shining glass that seems to be candied, from my point of view, the glass is obstructing myself from seeing the "old" me, it's as if people want to force me to look through these saccharine lenses to hide the hideous cracks that they have poorly attempted to hide with sheets of rose and pieces of sweetness. i wonder what it's like on the other side for her? did people taint my view when i was younger of people like me now? is that why i'm so disgusted with myself? is that why i can't seem to live with myself? the urge to lift a shaking hand and smash this pink washed mess of colours that seem to mess into an ugly blend of my deepest, most insecure thoughts is intense, yet i cannot even bring myself to lift a hand to touch it as i stare at it in disgust. i think a lot about what the tint of the glass would be over on that girl's side. would they be trying to cover up me, too? are the colours going to mix together and create an ugly mess, and are we still going to be able to see each other at the end of it?
credits to me for poem !!abit short i think but thats ok top 5 myaa chan songs of the week: 1. i wanna be your boyfriend by hot freaks (myaa chan has a crush on a GIRL !!!) 2. step on me by the cardigans (myaa chan is a pathetic doormat ok Sorry) 3. kotohona cantabile by alkaloid (myaa chan is a freak for mayoi) 4. trauma by maebi (myaa chan likss the offset chords ....lalalang ...) 5. she likes a boy by nxdia (myaa chan's crush is most likely NOT reciprocated btw) weote this poem snice one of my friends keeps hyper feminising me ....ya its weird ... esp since he didnt act like this b4 i told him i was trans. if im beinf honest i hate being trans because i didnt know people would be this offended with me being comfortable in my own body. sigh :(
