SISYPHEAN NIGHTMARE . BLUEBELLCREST SRP & CRP

Instructions

Life plays in charades. Bluebellcrest had learned this long ago. Every cat lost so many siblings, so many friends; why was his pain any different? "This is just a way of life," They say, they mock. His fur rises on the back of his neck. "You're just experiencing life in the clans," He feels as though he is going to scream. "After all, every cat experiences this; you don't have it bad at all!" He leapt out at the imaginary thoughts in his head, as though arguing with himself with the mirror image of his identity in the water. No, no cat should have to handle this! Why was this /normal/?! Why was this normal at all, when cats harm other cats only to have power, why were other standing by and letting it happen? What was this?! Why did nobody seem to care a moment later after a friend of theirs dies in gruesome manners?! His fur bushes, tail whipping around as though it were a weapon in of itself, eyes glinting with rage unprecedented before. Oh, he wasn't going to be happy by any means. He glances up at the stars, rage in his heart; and he sincerely calls out to them, knowing they will never answer; the stories of Dark Forest cats having everything robbed from them. "IS THIS WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?" No, losing Sunflowerkit and Violetkit didn't seem to be enough. No, losing Oakpaw at his own paws, then Laurelpaw, and having others get worse weren't enough. What was this?! HE COULDN'T SAVE ANYONE. Through the corner of his eye; it was as though he could see the image of Shinehaze; smiling, inviting him. A moonlit dance, a paged and cried-out idea of loss. Whoever had invented the word agony didn't have it right, no, agony was too simple of a word to encapsulate the feeling he had. Glancing around MossClan after his return from another visit to the kits; he could see how they even seemed worried; how could /kits/ tell that star was less fine than his grown clanmates? He holds back a snarl, watching everyone go by as though this was normal. As though that the second Delphine left, everything felt like it was ablaze again. This time at our own paws. Cats were getting sick left and right; was this his fault, by some unwarranted idea of the stars?! He dug his claws into the ground. How was this HIS fault? He was a healer, not a sickness-spreader! Star felt like he was on the verge of screaming. THE WORLD TOOK AWAY SOMEONE WHO MEANT EVERYTHING. All it took was some stupid badger, and now kits were left without a parent, his leader and best friend left without his mate; How DARE life have the AUDACITY to take Licoricefire from him? His grief was overwhelming. He laid in his nest, holding the Blackberry crown close to his body, trying to catch any scent of Shinehaze still on it; yet it still wasn't there. He let out a heaved sob. He had patients on the other side of the den, sure. They might not care, they were asleep! He would not let life do this. No, no- He could NOT let life do this! Why did life take away so many cats he held dear? He had to keep the prophecy alive. The prophecy was all that shine had. He falls asleep, unknowing of another dreamvisit.