' hugs and kisses best friends forever you tell me pinky swears and bracelets always telling secrets at slumber parties ' . heyy. so first off I just want to say i'm really, really sorry. for not being on here more, for kind of just leaving, for not keeping up my side of a lot of otaps/ats/dts. . um. life has been a lot lately. isn't it always? there's a girl at my school who spells her name with an i instead of a y and she's so damn beautiful i can't breathe when she smiles at me. my best friend found out and outed me when my parents were listening & so my parents found out I'm gay like a month ago and it didn't and my life is a mess and it's okay, because it's still beautiful and messy and imperfect and everything,all at once, even though I can't see the forest for the trees . thank you. so much. maybe it's just 2 people who read this but if you did you are awesome & you are loved
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- insanity that’s what this is right? (the butterflies) i am insane for loving you and yet i can’t stop anymore than i can stop the sun from kissing the sky insane people write poems right? write down all the insane thoughts going through their insane mind in an insane, incomprehensible garble i see your face when the insane people show up on tv painted under flickering lights, static see the way you hold yourself so high above them, like they are little insane ants drowning in sin and you are so high, so good, so holy like they chose to be baptized in rainbows, prismatic light just as you chose to be baptized in holy water obviously only one of the options is insane so what about me? when i dream, even under the sun, it is me and her, always, another girl we dance under the sky so so so so happy (so so so so insane), but i want to be both, the insane holy rainbows the mesh of colors and bright and magic and sky the love in all of these miracles that are so pretty that late at night, i lie curled under my blanket in the stifling darkness tears plastering my cheeks because it is so damn beautiful, so damn insane.
