★ ― perfect nothing | meme/dtae

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⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⚠︎ .ᐟ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ .ᐟ ⚠︎ ⎯⎯⎯⎯ | intentionally eating too many tic tacs | ableism, specifically towards cluster-b ⎯⎯⎯⎯【 about the ocs :: lulue 】⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ → original concept :: `` emo `` → pronunciation :: looh - LOOway → alias :: lu / lue / lv3 → age :: 17 → prns + gndr :: they/it, gendervoid → attraction :: very aroace → psychological :: ptsd, depression, semi-verbal autism, aggressive social anxiety ⎯⎯⎯⎯【 about the ocs :: xena】⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ → original concept :: `` kisstick `` → pronunciation :: ZEE-nah → alias :: xee / xe.n4 → age :: 19 → prns + gndr :: she/it/xe/de + gendervoid → attraction :: lesbian aroace → psychological :: hpd, npd, bipolar ⎯⎯⎯⎯【 lulue's lore 】⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ at 5 years old, lulue received their autism diagnosis, which seemed to explain their lack of interest in forming relationships even with their own parents. what it didn't explain was the hallucinations. lu's parents would never know, but inside it dwelled the incarnation of one of lu's past lives--one that wasn't what you'd consider a pleasant one. the void, as they called it, lived a life of fear and isolation. growing up, it didn't have the luxury of an accepting society like lulue had. children were cruel, teachers were ignorant, and family neglected it as if it were a fly on the wall. the void grew up angry and spiteful as a result, rejecting any and all close relationships. eventually, it grew to despise anyone that walked, including itself, and found its end with a bottle of candy. seemingly at random, lulue would have hallucinations, flashbacks of the void's life. they could be lying in bed and suddenly be transported to the middle of a cruel game played by classmates with it as the punching bag, or have a normal conversation with another person only for it to become a vision of being screamed and yelled at for every minor mistake. for the longest time, lulue kept this to themself, developing crippling social anxiety as a result of being unable to tell the difference between the void's life and theirs. this changed when a new student arrived at their school--xena--who hadn't been a part of the void's life. xena herself, despite quickly becoming the most popular and loved person in the school, had issues of her own. (after all, why would a 19-year-old be a junior in high school?) she understood lulue, and even though lulue wouldn't even look her in the eye at first, much less speak, xena became close with lulue and helped them through whatever she could--meltdowns, flashbacks, homework, even being bullied was no problem for xena. over time, lulue's episodes became less and less frequent. they became more confident, and their social anxiety weakened. that was, until xena ended up in the hospital. ⎯⎯⎯⎯【 xena's lore 】⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ very little is actually known about xena before she arrived at school. she never talked about herself, dodged personal questions, and used her popular social media as a way to distract people from her real self by putting a fake one on display. xena was, in contrast to her confident spotlight-stealing demeanor, bottomlessly insecure. from her emotions to her looks, she despised everything about herself. her whole life, she had learned to. to cope, xena started out posting selfies and short clips online under the alias xe.n4. the unfathomable speed at which she acquired a dedicated internet fanbase was reassuring, and so xena became obsessed with creating a "perfect girl" persona that everyone would fall in love with. but that didn't fill the emptiness. in fact, being so loved for her mask only served to make xena more fragile. if she was critiqued or criticized, what would be simple words turned to brutal attacks in her mind. so, she would argue and point out the faults in others so that she wouldn't look so imperfect. eventually, her social media obsession reached the point that she stopped attending school for years. as an adult, having only an incomplete high school education, she couldn't find work, and so she hunted for the only school around that would accept her to make up for lost time. this time around, xena was dedicated to undoing her failure, and so she deactivated her social accounts while she was in school. no longer having a source of esteem, xena reverted to her insecure self, yet still she forced herself to keep up the same mask. then she noticed lulue, who seemed to suffer as much as she did. she saw herself in them. perhaps she thought that if she could help lulue, it would fix her problems. in any case, she tried to befriend lulue. it took a long time, but in the end, xena succeeded. one day, xena decided to check her accounts, just this one time, and found that her follower count was a sharp 0. the events after that were a blur of despair, and when xena came to, she was hospitalized...