I remember the day you left me here. I thought you'd be back. You never were. I'm trying so hard to forgive myself for what I've done, but I know I never will. I failed you. I can't live with myself anymore. I want to be able to live again, but those feelings of wondering why you couldn't won't leave me. I don't want to remember anymore. Your corpse will haunt me forever. Will it ever leave? I'd been going through it, too, and I thought you were there for me, that you were fine. I was ignorant and selfish, and I wasn't able to save you. I try to tell myself it's over, it's behind me now. I remember when the days had a meaning, someone with me to remember it with.
I heard you screaming when I fell. Do you feel guilty? Please, don't. Nothing you could've done would've prevented this. I watched you go farther than I ever could, and stopping now would do both of us no good. I thought the weight of it all would dissipate once I did it, but now it's clear I gave that weight to you. I didn't want you to be "the one that stayed, that fought." I wanted you to be someone else. You never failed me; I failed to ask for help. I'm sorry I forced you to learn to live without me, alone. I should've told you it was getting bad. I want to be a memory of yours, not a wound. You still carry me, what's left of me, so carefully. I never knew how much you'd miss me being gone. You carry my weight, my absence, like it's your weight to bear. The world moved on from me, that's what it always does, but I'm still stuck with you. But know one thing, if you don't let me go, I won't be trapped. You'll be. You're quieter now. art: me song: mice on venus, but I make it extra nostalgic by embrr
